Comment posted Improve Your Skills for Sales Success Today by Shars.
The theme overall sounds good. I think some of it is repetitive and a bit rambling, and you need to carefully check for grammar, punctuation, etc. I easily found a few mistakes.
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Shars also commented
- I’m not sure exactly what the question for the essay was, but you may want to focus more on your health or related people experience. Also I noticed that a lot of your sentences start with "I am…. or I have…" so you may want to change that up a bit….
good luck:)
References : - WHY would you post your essay here? People will copy it!
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It’s really nice btw! - ADMISSIONS ESSAY !!! what do you think ???? Please help!?
Okay so this is my Admissions essay as of right now , What do you think ? what will the University think? Please help! Thank you for all your feedbacks !When I look at this picture of myself , I realize how much I’ve grown physically, mentally, and as a person in the last few years. Less than one month after this photograph was taken, I arrived at North Shore Community College without any idea of what to expect. Surrounding me in this picture are the things which were most important in my life at the time, and today’s photo would be different.
If I am accepted to Northeastern University I will strive to be a tremendous community member and student by devoting all my time to my studies and to Northeastern. .I believe that because I work hard and don’t give up easily. I believe that I am obligated to use my talents in a constructive manner, in a manner that benefits society in a manner that will help maintain the strong community on the Northeastern campus.
Becoming a Doctor has been one of my dreams for as long as I can remember, ever since I was a little girl. Now that I am older I am truly passionate about becoming a Doctor, and believe I am ready to rise up and meet this challenge. I love helping others and making them feel more comfortable. I am passionate about becoming a Doctor so that I can help others. I have shared the lives of my patients as a personal care attendant. I have laughed and I have cried with them. I think I am ready to take the next step and actually help my patients as a certified Doctor.
The medical career gives me the unique opportunity to express my many talents while benefitting human life. Completing medical school has always been a dream of mine. like many others I have been through times of sorrow. I have watched love ones in pain, with uncertain futures, and just recently an Uncle has reappeared in the lives of my family. I am glad to see him back and I’m sad and worried about is life. He has been diagnosed with throat cancer and must undergo chemotherapy Which was a complete shock to me and my family. Watching his struggles urges me to learn more about steps into recovery and how I can help. It is my experience that Physicians don’t just treat bodies; they also listen to patients with their heart and mind because sometimes illness is helped by friendship.
I believe that I have good social skills, and I believe that these skills will make a good foundation to be a successful student and Physician. . As a sales consultant, I interact and communicate with a variety of people, expanding my ability to discuss a wide range of topics. Because people seem to frequently disclose their personal issues to me, I have learned to become a good conversationalist and an excellent listener. I believe that my ability to improve and enhance my communication skills makes me well suited to pursue a medical career.
I am highly motivated to succeed. I dramatically improved my grades following a time at North Shore Community College. In the past year I have learned a lot through my experiences and relationships. I’ve realized that I was trying so much to make everyone else happy that I wasn’t keeping myself and my interests in mind at times when I should have. Once I realized what goal I wanted to pursue in my life, I plan to work hard to succeed in achieving this goal.
I have been diligent in my pursuit of medicine as a career because I am convinced that medicine offers me the opportunity to live a fulfilling, rewarding life dedicated to helping others. I will enter medicine eager to learn. Attending Northeastern University would be one of the greatest rewards for my motivation and persistence for success.
Recent comments by Shars
- how to improve interpersonal communication skills? any good books about it?
Couple of interesting books are:The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking
http://www.booksvariety.com/the-quick-and-easy-way-to-effective-speaking
How to Win Friends & Influence People
http://www.booksvariety.com/how-to-win-friends-influence-people
Socialnomics: How social media transforms the way we live and do business
http://www.booksvariety.com/socialnomics-how-social-media-transforms-the-way-we-live-and-do-business
How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
http://www.booksvariety.com/how-to-talk-to-anyone-92-little-tricks-for-big-success-in-relationships
All the best
References : - how to improve interpersonal communication skills? any good books about it?
Why don’t the other one think of something to say ? Maybe there is really nothing to say so it is not your problem and the other one understands it too . If there is any talk it will come naturally without you worrying about what to say .
References : - how to improve interpersonal communication skills? any good books about it?
family differences works
References : - How do men and women differ in how they deal with conflict?
As a woman I have found most men deal with conflict (meaning disagreement) by avoiding or passive aggressive tactics (IE: not picking up, forgetting to stop at the store, watching tv when chores need done). Most women want to talk it out to the nth degree. It is important to me as a woman that I feel that the man cares for me and my emotional needs. My conflict is usually about resolving the issue and feeling good about it. For a man (ie: my husband) he was to resolve the issue so we can just stop talking about it. He tends to solve it and perhaps resent the decision because it wasn’t a good solution, just a quick one.
References : - How do men and women differ in how they deal with conflict?
thats kind of a broad question. i am a 35 year old male… conflict w/ same sex or opposite? verbal or physical?
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ADMISSIONS ESSAY !!! what do you think ???? Please help!?
Okay so this is my Admissions essay as of right now , What do you think ? what will the University think? Please help! Thank you for all your feedbacks !
When I look at this picture of myself , I realize how much I’ve grown physically, mentally, and as a person in the last few years. Less than one month after this photograph was taken, I arrived at North Shore Community College without any idea of what to expect. Surrounding me in this picture are the things which were most important in my life at the time, and today’s photo would be different.
If I am accepted to Northeastern University I will strive to be a tremendous community member and student by devoting all my time to my studies and to Northeastern. .I believe that because I work hard and don’t give up easily. I believe that I am obligated to use my talents in a constructive manner, in a manner that benefits society in a manner that will help maintain the strong community on the Northeastern campus.
Becoming a Doctor has been one of my dreams for as long as I can remember, ever since I was a little girl. Now that I am older I am truly passionate about becoming a Doctor, and believe I am ready to rise up and meet this challenge. I love helping others and making them feel more comfortable. I am passionate about becoming a Doctor so that I can help others. I have shared the lives of my patients as a personal care attendant. I have laughed and I have cried with them. I think I am ready to take the next step and actually help my patients as a certified Doctor.
The medical career gives me the unique opportunity to express my many talents while benefitting human life. Completing medical school has always been a dream of mine. like many others I have been through times of sorrow. I have watched love ones in pain, with uncertain futures, and just recently an Uncle has reappeared in the lives of my family. I am glad to see him back and I’m sad and worried about is life. He has been diagnosed with throat cancer and must undergo chemotherapy Which was a complete shock to me and my family. Watching his struggles urges me to learn more about steps into recovery and how I can help. It is my experience that Physicians don’t just treat bodies; they also listen to patients with their heart and mind because sometimes illness is helped by friendship.
I believe that I have good social skills, and I believe that these skills will make a good foundation to be a successful student and Physician. . As a sales consultant, I interact and communicate with a variety of people, expanding my ability to discuss a wide range of topics. Because people seem to frequently disclose their personal issues to me, I have learned to become a good conversationalist and an excellent listener. I believe that my ability to improve and enhance my communication skills makes me well suited to pursue a medical career.
I am highly motivated to succeed. I dramatically improved my grades following a time at North Shore Community College. In the past year I have learned a lot through my experiences and relationships. I’ve realized that I was trying so much to make everyone else happy that I wasn’t keeping myself and my interests in mind at times when I should have. Once I realized what goal I wanted to pursue in my life, I plan to work hard to succeed in achieving this goal.
I have been diligent in my pursuit of medicine as a career because I am convinced that medicine offers me the opportunity to live a fulfilling, rewarding life dedicated to helping others. I will enter medicine eager to learn. Attending Northeastern University would be one of the greatest rewards for my motivation and persistence for success.
WHY would you post your essay here? People will copy it!
References :
It’s really nice btw!
I’m not sure exactly what the question for the essay was, but you may want to focus more on your health or related people experience. Also I noticed that a lot of your sentences start with "I am…. or I have…" so you may want to change that up a bit….
good luck:)
References :
The theme overall sounds good. I think some of it is repetitive and a bit rambling, and you need to carefully check for grammar, punctuation, etc. I easily found a few mistakes.
References :