Healthy kids for the most part are dependant on their parent’s ability to lead by example and provide a healthy home life with a variety of situations. It’s through these varied life experiences that children learn to develop the self confidence, independence and interdependence on others outside their direct family.
There are many causes of separation anxiety in children. I won’t say that anything in regards to children is easy or can be broken down into a set of rules that work with every child. Each is different and as a parent of 8 with 4 adopted at various ages, our family knows first hand that what works for one child doesn’t necessarily work for another.
That said, one thing what has served our family well is consistency whenever possible. Children are not born with a sense of major attachment but more with a sense of wanting to be secure. You can see readily see this in babies. While many new parents may not want to be away from their newborn babies, it’s important to realize even they need to begin to develop ways to interact with others. It’s only through the experience of being with other people can be skills be learned. Once again, parents can go a long way in developing mentally healthy infants and children if only by their attitude in a given circumstance.
With my children, it was important to make certain that they couldn’t manipulate the situation when my husband and I decided to have a night out. All fits of crying and acting out were to no avail. It was only after they recognized that their manipulations didn’t work did they begin to develop the self confidence and sense of independence that is critical to beating this form of Separation Anxiety Disorder. The key, at least for us was NOT to allow the child control the situation.
Another thing we were certain to do is follow through on our plans. When we said we would be back soon, we were soon. There was no attempt to manipulate our children and promise them gifts are other benefits to stay at a babysitters or relatives home.
Although separation anxiety is natural and the feeling of insecurity may be new, it’s up to parents to help their children overcome the problem BEFORE they need counseling. There are resources available to help children overcome separation anxiety but a better approach is for parents to help their children develop the confidence and Interpersonal Skills necessary for life.
While not a professional child counselor, I can say that although my kids have had separation anxiety challenges, all have been able to overcome it. It’s thorough parental consistency that children learn that they can trust what their parents say and do. This allows them to grow in confidence and independence.
Abigail Franks
http://www.articlesbase.com/health-articles/dont-let-your-kids-develop-separation-anxiety-100044.html
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i had a relationship with my uncle when i was a boy, i keep it a secret to my parents do i have to tell them?
i just want to open my story here, i don’t want to tell my parents and my sisters about this. im 22 yrs. old now and im working as a nurse. im a half filipino, half italian. my mom is a filipina and my dad is italian. since i was a kid my parents always travel to the philippines. im their 1st and only son, im 8 yrs. old that time. while my parents are busy for their business in the phil. they have a hard time taking care about me. so they let my uncle take care and manage the things i needed in school etc. my uncle is a married man and has a 7 mons. old baby and his very close to my family. while my parents are away i develop separation anxiety for the 1st 3 mons. i always cry but im happy that my uncle and his wife are very loving and caring about me they treated me as their own child. my uncle works during night time and his wife works day time, so my uncle is the one who really take care of me, he send me to school and buy the things that i want. i still remember that i feel more closer to him than my dad. he always hug me and tell jokes about how cute and a good kid i was. we even sleep together and sometimes if i did something wrong i tell him the truth and say sorry and hug him. that time i develop love and attraction to him. i know since i was a kid i always smile and feel close to the person i liked. one day while my uncle is taking a shower he called me and he said "pls. take my bath towel in my room and give it to me" so i did and its the 1st time i seen him naked. i just stand in front of him and looked curious and smile at him. he looked at me in the eye and said "you okay?" then he grab me and he sat down in his bed and asked me if i could give him oral. i feel nervous that time but also happy and excited to do it for him. that time i did it to make him happy and we develop a secret relationship. sometimes i feel bad about it but thats the only way i could make him happy. he always said to me "dont tell anybody about this if you love your uncle". we had a great relationship for at least 5 yrs. until my parents came back here in U.S. and stayed with me for a while. my uncle and i still love each other until he and his wife moved to italy. i still love him till now and i already went to italy for vacation many times to visit him and his family and start dating other men there in italy. also last year i went to phil. with my mom and my younger sisters and i tried to date guys i met there and they are cool. my family always asked me why i dont have a girlfriend and sometimes they suspect im gay but actually thats the truth. i just can’t open it to them for who i am right now. im very secretive to my family and act just a normal straight guy to them. only my friends and guys i date they know about me. my experience in life i dont regret anything im just happy for it and looked back the time and laugh about it my self. i feel like a whore for all the things i experienced about men LOL. im sure if those things didn’t happened to me probably im a straight guy right now. thanks for reading my story………..xxsam
One answer … wow
If this is real, this is SICK
If not, too LONG a STORY!!!
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If it makes you feel better telling them, then definitely do so.
If you think it won’t haunt you, or someone it will get out through your uncle. then I guess don’t bother really you might just bring unwanted complications in the family.
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fag
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Your uncle is a pig
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wow that’s deep.you should just come out and tell your family.you will feel sooo much better just letting it all out and not having that in the back of your head all the time. honesty is the best policy.
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omg…..
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Wow … believe it or not, as an adult, your uncle knew better and he manipulated your young mind into doing things. Your uncle should be ashamed for what he has done to you. What if your lover was doing that to his nephew? What would you think about that? Stop it before something even worse happens to you or anyone else.
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Admit it to them if you feel guilty, they need to know that you are gay, i don’t know from personal experience but i do have a lesbian friend that wanted to tell her parents but didn’t know how because she was afraid they would disown her, if you are honest with them and tell them the truth they shouldn’t hate you.
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Your uncle should be in prison.He took advantage of an innocent child,you have a very sad story to tell and your uncle has had control over you from a child,your a man now and dont let him take anymore control,get the control back and tell someone,maybe you have a friend you could tell or someone you feel comfortable with,he has created this secrecy and it will destroy the rest of your life if you dont do something about it,its already destroying you now.Lhope his childrend have been safe from him.good luck
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DANG…typical of a phil child. . . . . cand take the child out of the Philippines but you can’t take pedophile out of the philippine men….. tell you uncle in the western world there are things like child laws
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