Interpersonal Skills » How can I resolve a double bind communications problem with my eldest sibling? http://interpersonal-skills.net Interpersonal Skills...They show up most when they're not there... Wed, 21 Mar 2012 01:12:15 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 How can I resolve a double bind communications problem with my eldest sibling? http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-communication-skills/interpersonal-communications/how-can-i-resolve-a-double-bind-communications-problem-with-my-eldest-sibling-2 http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-communication-skills/interpersonal-communications/how-can-i-resolve-a-double-bind-communications-problem-with-my-eldest-sibling-2#comments Fri, 03 Apr 2009 09:57:03 +0000 Mike Noone http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-communication-skills/interpersonal-communications/how-can-i-resolve-a-double-bind-communications-problem-with-my-eldest-sibling-2 I am the youngest of three male siblings and have a double-bind interpersonal communications problem with my eldest brother.

He constantly casts me as wrong – all the time! If I say it is a nice day, he’ll say it could be nicer! If I say its’ a terrible day he’ll say, it could be worse! [...]]]> I am the youngest of three male siblings and have a double-bind interpersonal communications problem with my eldest brother.

He constantly casts me as wrong – all the time! If I say it is a nice day, he’ll say it could be nicer! If I say its’ a terrible day he’ll say, it could be worse! Wrong every time!

That is a trivial example but the same lose-lose scenario exists in every conversation such that I withdraw from any communication with him. If I object to his unreasonable contradiction of my point I am cast as the villain for being pedantic. We cannot talk about anything more contentious than the weather without arguing.

I don’t want to argue with him or withdraw because I get on very well with his children and wife.

I believe that he is jealous of my relative career success to his and he tries to deny me respect by ridiculing me in front of his children as punishment.

What can I do? Has anyone out there got experience of resolving such a family relationship problem?

It's normal for brothers to grow apart, why do you see so much of the guy?

As the younger brother you are, in many ways subservient to the elder brother. And career success isn't everything. don't forget.

Maybe you are just a little touchy, and he knows this, and he is feeding this situation. Brothers can find loads of ways to niggle each other!

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