quite well. However, when talking to people I find it more difficult. Any suggestions on how and where I can improve my communication skills. Maybe interpersonal skills is what I'm asking. My husband and I don't really talk that much. He's mainly a one word answer kind of guy. Unfortunately, I've sort of become that kind of conversationalist, also. Help! Thanks sooo much.
Thank you so much K O and JenE for your suggestions. I really appreciate this! Consider yourselves hugged today!!
I have a great suggestion for you! I often find myself in the same situation. Writing comes rather effortlessly, yet when I speak I am often tongue tied or the wrong words pop out. A few years ago I found out about a group called Toastmasters. I learned of this organization at a professional seminar for female managers. I joined and the experience was great! They are an international organization. I've included their website below. Each member is given an assignment, a speech with a different objective. It starts easy with the challenge growing a bit each week. In the beginning it is fine to just observe. It is professional, structured, but everyone is very pleasant, understanding just how nerve wrecking public speaking can be. The feedback is never critical, just constructive. These pointers are important because they help you know what to focus on in future speeches. It is also a great venue for making friends and socializing. They have competitions and various levels of accomplishment one can earn over time. I hope this helps!
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I share a similar problem, I can write like nobody's business, but its difficult for me to communicate orally. I have found that if I focus on listening and not on talking, I get more comfortable and am able to contribute more to the conversation. I practice alot with people I am comfortable with, asking them to rate my conversation (did I talk about myself too much or did I use too many esoteric references) and give me tips. Then I move on to going somewhere with a friend and talking to strangers (like friends of their friends) so that if I say the wrong thing it won't matter. Also, you can practice with people who are drinking (or will be drinking alot more) to get comfortable with it.
This may sound silly, but read articles and magazine snippets about popular topics, so that you will have a vast reserve of up-to-date facts. You only need one or two facts, and an opinion (you can fake that easily), to have a conversation with someone who is really interested in something (like a TV show, or politics or humanitarian work).
Remember, in regular conversation, people usually want someone to talk TO, not listen to, so you don't have to contribute too much if you don't want to. Practicing this 'listening' version of talking, I can figure out which people in a group I'd like to actually talk with (if any), and then have more of a back and forth conversation with them.
The things I've been keeping up to date on this week are:
1. the inaguration (you just need a few facts on that)
2. Obama's dog (a labradoodle or portuguese water dog/and shelter vs. breeder)
3. American Idol has some new female judge (i dont watch that show myself)
4. There is a cold-storm in the east and its moving south.
5. Peanut-butter recall due to Salmonella.
Hope this helps!
References :
self-help books, group work, lots and lots of advice, and Dear Abby and Dear Margo
I have a great suggestion for you! I often find myself in the same situation. Writing comes rather effortlessly, yet when I speak I am often tongue tied or the wrong words pop out. A few years ago I found out about a group called Toastmasters. I learned of this organization at a professional seminar for female managers. I joined and the experience was great! They are an international organization. I've included their website below. Each member is given an assignment, a speech with a different objective. It starts easy with the challenge growing a bit each week. In the beginning it is fine to just observe. It is professional, structured, but everyone is very pleasant, understanding just how nerve wrecking public speaking can be. The feedback is never critical, just constructive. These pointers are important because they help you know what to focus on in future speeches. It is also a great venue for making friends and socializing. They have competitions and various levels of accomplishment one can earn over time. I hope this helps!
References :
http://www.toastmasters.org/