Interpersonal Skills » Interpersonal Skills

What Are Interpersonal Skills

Mike Noone — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 01:36:59 +0000

People sometimes ask me: “Tell me, what are interpersonal skills?”

: Image via Wikipedia

I think one of the reasons they ask is that interpersonal skills are skills we use when we interact with people, and that there are so many different ways to interact that it’s difficult to define.

My take on this is that when our interaction with others gives us the result we want, and it gives the other person the result they want, we used our interpersonal skills successfully. I always aim at a win-win in any situation I’m in.

The thing is that we all have interpersonal skills. As we grow up and learn how to communicate with others, we learn ways to communicate and deal with people that are better than other ways.

Interpersonal skills have a lot to do with communication skills. That is because when we interact with others, we always communicate. These are skills we use every day. The question now is, are you using these skills in a way that creates more harmony between you and others?

Are you using these skills so that you and the other person get the results you want? I would call interpersonal skills relationship building skills. Because when we are with other people, we relate to them. And here, the question is: how well are you relating to other people?

There’s always room to improve your interpersonal skills, your communication skills, and your relationship building skills. And the better your Interpersonal Skills the more successful you are in your personal and professional life.

Do you know how to create that feeling of trust and understanding that we all crave from others?

Do know how to express your own needs so that the other person doesn’t feel attacked?

Do you know how to give emotional support to someone else, and in such a way that they can solve their own problem?

Do you know how to settle differences and disagreements so that nobody feels resentful about the outcome?

Interpersonal skills include assertiveness skills, listening skills, conflict resolution skills, problem solving skills. The most important skill though, in my opinion, is creating an atmosphere of mutual trust, respect and understanding. This skill alone allows you to get the other person to cooperate with you. It allows you to get what you want in such a way that the other person doesn’t feel resentful. Because when you do it right the other person gets what they want too. A real win-win…!

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Do Your Strong Interpersonal Skills Need New GAS in Your Quest for Success?

Mike Noone — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 19:54:59 +0000

Here is an article I came across by Leanne Hoagland-Smith on Interpersonal skills.Have a read as she has some interesting ideas.

Do you have strong Interpersonal Skills or what some call essential people skills? These skills are considered to be soft skills within the training and development industry.

Unfortunately, interpersonal skills are not actively developed within the K-16 educational process as much as they should be. There are 3 core competencies for individuals with truly extraordinary strong interpersonal skills.

The first competency is Goals. Having the ability for consistent goal setting and goal achievement is critical for personal, professional and organizational success. Goal setting is not actively taught within the K-16 educational system.

From my experiences, I believe that less than 5% of all adults have and use a proven goal setting system along with the necessary goal setting tools to get to where they desire to go. Having the competency of how to set and achieve goals is frankly irreplaceable.

Attitudes are the second competency within this triad of essentials for personal and organizational success. Great positive attitudes equal great positive results.

Some has said that attitudes are habit of thought. This is a simple, but revealing definition. Attitudes are the foundation for success. If you believe or think you can do something, you will do what is necessary to turn that belief or thought into reality. On the opposite side of the coin, if you believe or think you cannot do something, you will give up without even trying.

In the early 1950Â’s, the term self fulfilling prophecy was born. Attitudes are our self fulfilling prophecies. These habits of thought directly affect our self esteem and so many other parts of our personalities. Because attitudes are thoughts, you can choose them and use them to your advantage.

Finally, the third competency is Self Leadership Skills. Many strong interpersonal skills reside within this third competency. However there are some external personal skills such as time management that are also within this competency.

Self leadership skills are all about you as an individual leading yourself. How do you cope with failure or with success. How do you handle all of the challenges that you As you look towards your future, take the time to add new fuel or G.A.S. to your existing strong interpersonal skills. I believe that you will be truly amazed by the results.

Do you some simple, but honest ideas in how to improve yourself? Then you might be interested in the Three Missing Pieces for Organizational & Personal Success a combination e book and e workbook at http://www.processspecialist.com/e-books-htm This easy e book focuses on helping you with the 3 key areas of setting goals, understanding attitudes and self leadership skills.

can anybody suggest good book on communication skills and interpersonal skills?

Mike Noone — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 09:48:12 +0000

can anybody suggest good book on communication skills and Interpersonal Skills

Check out "Born to Win", an easy to read classic on transactional analysis. It’s intelligent as well as fun.

http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/biblio?inkey=62-0201590441-0

When I studied Communication in university years ago, it was required reading. It withstood the test of time, and the updated versions remain popular in this field.

Try these also: "Interpersonal Communication: Relating to Others"
by Steven A. Beebe, Susan J. Beebe, & Mark V. Redmond.

http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Interpersonal-Communication/Steven-A-Beebe/e/9780205488797#TABS

"The Interpersonal Communication Book" by Joseph A. DeVito.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Interpersonal-Communication-Book-Joseph-DeVito/dp/0205682340

"… this… guides the reader to improve a wide range of interpersonal skills. The text emphasizes how to choose among those skills and make effective communication choices in a variety of personal, social, and workplace relationships…."
——–
See what you think of these online pages for improving one’s interpersonal communication skills. http://www.inc.com/guides/growth/23032.html

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How Women can Use Their Skills to Improve Their Sales Career

Mike Noone — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 22:27:42 +0000

This video, by Donna Cox founder of Success In Sales For Women highlights the skills women have that make them great sales people. Visit http://www.successinsalesforwomen.com to learn more about how you can become a great sales person.

Duration : 2 min 3 sec

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UK's Top Window Dressers Revealed In Retail 'Skills Olympics' 2009 Final

Mike Noone — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 02:33:58 +0000

The nation's best window dressers were revealed at the finale of UK-wide window dressing competition. Launched by Mary 'Queen of Shops' Portas, the final saw the best student and professional visual merchandisers from across the UK create window displays against the clock and judged by industry professionals at the annual event at London's Olympia.

As the Sector Skills Council called on retailers to continue investing in their skills to help them prepare for the economic upturn the accolade of the nation's most highly skilled window dressers (Visual Merchandising) was given to Rachel Love Cameron and Sara Walsh of the stylish Belfast store Avoca. They wowed judges with their fantasy 'teatime' display, beating the two other finalists in the retail category from Marmalade in Axminster, Devon and Swarovski in Dundee.

In a tough economic period for retail, this competition was a timely reminder how important visual merchandising can be. Visual merchandisers across the UK can change the fortunes of any … Distributed by Tubemogul.

Duration : 3 min 17 sec

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Volunteer Opportunity in Africa is Indeed a Noble Opportunity

Mike Noone — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 21:58:58 +0000

With the growing problem of unemployment and unstable economic situation, more and more teens are now opting for volunteer opportunity abroad. This will offer them with an opportunity to explore different parts of the world and help the students to enrich their experience.

Basically these students are quite confused about their career planning. So by opting for volunteer opportunity in Africa and other third world countries they can at least extend their knowledge. They feel that this will help them to learn about other different cultures as well.

There are several advantages of participating in a summer volunteer opportunity in Africa:

Interpersonal skill: While you are on your trip to Africa, you will meet new people particularly Africans, speak with them, exchange your views, know more about them and their culture and learn different techniques to motivate them.
Communication skills: As you are interacting with people whom you do not know during your trip, you will surely develop your communication skills.
Enhance your experience: Working as a volunteer in Africa itself is a great experience for you. You will come to know about different people, their culture, the place and their habitats; it will help you in enriching your experience at large. Besides, your experience will teach you the different procedures to handle difficult situations.
Skills: The experience you gather in the entire trip will also help you to develop your job skills that will help you during the future days.
Confidence: More you interact, more confident you become. Through out the trip, you will communicate with so many people that in due course you will surely gain more confidence.
Refreshment: A volunteer opportunity in Africa during your summer holidays will indeed be a refreshing trip from your day to day activities. Besides, the new friends and the interesting job experiences will add to your enjoyment.

However, you should be aware of the fact that the voluntary organizations will not pay you for the service. Rather you will have to pay an amount of fee to the organization. Actually, these organizations do not have enough funds. They highly depend on the international funds to carry out their day to day services. So they ask for a fee from the volunteers. They ask for a fee for some purposes:

To conduct successful training sessions for the volunteers.

To make necessary arrangements for accommodation and food for the volunteers.

To bear the administrative costs for the individuals.

garretlloyd
http://www.articlesbase.com/business-articles/volunteer-opportunity-in-africa-is-indeed-a-noble-opportunity-697790.html

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Tips and Strategies to Build Rapport With Clients

Mike Noone — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 11:13:07 +0000

In previous articles we’ve discussed the ‘business-side’ of counselling: marketing tips and business guidelines which can help counsellors build a successful practice. Most therapists possess an innate desire to help others, and because of this emotional involvement, sometimes it can be challenging to convert the potential into practical results.

Whilst we’ve tackled the basic premises which can help counsellors enter the market and attract clients, there is still one aspect of the counselling relationship which is indispensable for a counsellor’s success: client satisfaction. But isn’t that a matter of competence and an intrinsic part of being a counsellor?

Yes, it is. Being able to progress clients through to the achievement of their counselling goals has plenty to do with the counsellor’s ability to perform his/her services at the most basic level. However, it is exactly that logical assumption that induces many counsellors to oversee basic communication needs and counselling skills which will be the key for their success as a professional counsellor.

The Counselling Setting

Prior to engaging in the interpersonal communication process, there are basic requirements which will influence the client’s ability to express him/herself, and to make decisions regarding the relationship. These aspects refer to the counselling setting, which in the initial meetings can cause a significant impact in the client’s perception towards the counsellor. In a nutshell, the counsellor should observe the following:

Comfort: a comfortable setting improves client expression of feelings.

Security/Privacy: providing the client with security during a session.

Noise control: ensuring that noise does not affect communication.

Stimuli control: a neutral environment (light colours and decoration).

Supportive environment: a space in which the client can share in their own pace.

Facilities: Amenities, décor and other office facilities are relevant aspects to be observed.

Rules of Engagement

There are certain ‘rules of engagement’ which dictate the likelihood of a counselling relationship being constructive, and these rules apply to any context. For example, if you have just been introduced to someone at a social event, you should initially avoid asking personal questions as that is perceived to be intrusive. These rules are inherited by particular social groups, and following them is the basis for creating a positive profile and developing a receptive attitude from other group members.

In the counselling setting, there is much more necessity in applying such rules. The client is there for a specific purpose, which requires a particular approach to the situation. The client is also likely to be “uneasy” or unsure about what to expect, which increases the ‘risk’ of making a bad impression or not developing good rapport. Finally, there are more urgent ethical guidelines which must be complied within the counselling room, but would be of little relevance in a social setting.

In order to encourage the client to engage in a formal relationship, the counsellor must first avoid the common pitfalls which can make communication difficult. The first and foremost issue to consider in this scenario is the elusive impact of ‘first impressions’ in the eyes of a client. Trust and rapport are emotional keywords in a client’s subconscious, and once they have been negatively ‘red-flagged’ for any reason; it is very unlikely that relationship will move forward. So what can make this occur?

Dodging the Pitfalls

The standard communication pitfalls found in any relationship cover most potential problems of the first couple of meetings. They relate to a range of conscious and subconscious thinking patterns which could create communication gaps between the client and counsellor.

These patterns are based on the each individual’s education, relationships, attitudes, motivational targets, self-confidence levels and a range of other factors. Because the initial stages of a counselling relationship tend to be open and unpredictable, a good strategy to move forward is engaging in prevention: aiming to reduce the probability of communication pitfalls. To prevent this, counsellors must be aware of the common mistakes, or negative patterns, of good communication:

Judging: Criticising, name-calling, diagnosing and praising evaluatively

Sending Solutions: Ordering, threatening, moralising, and advising

Avoiding the Other’s Concerns: Diverting, logically arguing and reassuring

The probable outcome of avoiding such pitfalls is establishing grounds for a productive relationship through good rapport and developing a certain level of trust and openness.

The Mindset of the Client

When it comes to interpersonal communication in therapy, being flexible and responsive is one of the most beneficial skills a counsellor can have. Different mindsets and emotional states require a particular approach; and the counsellor’s ability to adjust to a client’s needs is likely to dictate the success of that relationship.

In order to better exemplify the diversity of mindsets which clients may approach counseling with, there are five generic profiles of clients – and respective strategies -to help improve the relationship and enhance client-counsellor rapport.

Profile 1: an emotionally unstable client

The client is emotionally unstable and finding difficulty in expressing him/herself.

Emotionally unstable clients normally require a client-centred approach which enforces the need to establish rapport and trust, and to ensure the client is aware that he or she is in a safe and friendly environment. The client will normally have difficulty in expressing him/herself because he/she is unable or not ready to deal with emotions.

Counselling strategies to establish rapport would include: using self-disclosure to relate to the client’s situation and create an emotional link; creating goals and accountability in order to encourage action from the client; providing transparency and positivity through communication.

Profile 2: an involuntary or skeptical client

The client has been forced to attend to counselling (e.g. legally mandated).

This type of client may be difficult to deal with in the early stages of the relationship. Normally, he or she will be skeptical about the process, and may not acknowledge any need to change. It is important for the therapist to gain respect from the client, and use that respect to establish trust.

One of the most common strategies to gain respect and create responsiveness from the client is to outline the process of counselling: what he or she is there for; what is the structure of the relationship; what are the rights and duties of the client; what might be the expected positive outcomes. Solution-focused strategies are a good way to create a sense of accountability and need for change.

Profile 3: the child

The client is a young child or adolescent.

Dealing with children is always challenging as there is a perceived ‘bigger’ communication gap. The goal for the counsellor is to establish trust using humour; engaging in activities such as games; encouraging a collaborative approach; using self-disclosure and role-playing. These are all common strategies to help improve communication with young clients.

Profile 4: the uncommitted client

Lack of commitment can be a challenging problem in the counselling setting. Normally, a client with little or no commitment has a specific agenda which justifies their attendance at a counselling session (an example would be a husband who was asked by his wife to attend counselling in order to preserve their marriage). Framing and re-framing are good tactics to re-model the way the client perceives the counselling relationship: shifting from the ‘helping’ mode to the collaborative approach. Creating goals and structuring will also motivate the client to go through the necessary stages for change, collect the rewards, and move on with his/her own life.

Profile 5: the demanding client

A demanding client will normally believe that the counsellor will provide answers to his/her problems. They will come to counselling without much resolve to act upon their current situation, and will normally create very unrealistic expectations regarding the counselling relationship and the counsellor.

Again, encouraging accountability, managing expectations and establishing well-planned goals is a good approach. The client should be encouraged to realise that change can only occur from within. Using role-playing, narrative therapy skills, and/or a solution-focused approach to empower and encourage the client may be the key for deriving motivation.

Hopefully, the above strategies assist with providing a firm foundation to establish the client-counsellor relationship.

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Pedro Gondim
http://www.articlesbase.com/psychology-articles/tips-and-strategies-to-build-rapport-with-clients-139876.html

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The Seven Core Life Skills of Awesome Leadership

Mike Noone — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 08:38:59 +0000

The Defining Moment Television Talk Show interview with Dr. David Gruder, author of "The New IQ: How Integrity Intelligence Serves You, Your Relationships, and Our World." Hosted by Bret Moss.

Duration : 28 min 26 sec

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How to Deal With a Job Loss – a Hidden Blessing in Disguise

Mike Noone — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 04:17:48 +0000

With job loss you may be frightened and full of sorrows, but don’t worry you can turn this negative condition into positive one. Always find an opportunity. There is a hidden gift for you in each and every challenge. We are usually unsatisfied with our job and continue doing it until and unless universe pushes us. What you can do now? Are you thinking of starting the business, changing career, or going back to studies? It’s time to get off the treadmill and take care. You have been God gifted.

It’s time for thinking about questions like:

• Why your job was cut?

• Have you forgotten to express your talents and promote yourself? This will help you in learning networking and political skills.

• Have you lost your job because of not having good relationship with peers or manager? Then you need to learn Interpersonal Skills

• Were your talents becoming outdated? Then you need to advance your skills.

• Was company releasing employee because of losses? This will teach you to read caution signals.

Always be flexible and work hard. People may be lazy because they do not want more from life and happy with existing title and salary. Be always ready to accept challenge. In case of lower salary, you can discuss a sign on bonus, better benefits. Step into outside industries and try new things. You need to take risk, one step backward may lead you two steps forward. Always try hard to accomplish your goal.

• Refurbish yourself:

Now it’s time to focus on your capabilities. Change your thinking, by considering yourself as a package of skills instead of job title. Questions like “Where do you want to reposition yourself?”, may confuse you and it’s much more difficult to get out of the secretarial or administrative jobs. Don’t allow others to define you. Now onwards it is you who has to take decision about your next move.

• Regain your strength:

You should do the things that make you feel happy. It’s important to regain energy. Get massage. Go for walk. Play with pets, read interesting novels. In short, make play as part of your life.

• Honor your feelings:

A loss of job is a great loss. There is a sorrowful process with expectable stages of emotions. These stages include shock, disbelief, anger, rationalization and acceptance. Don’t stop your feelings. Talk publicly; energy release will increase your energy.

• Get Physical:

Physical activities should be included in your daily routine. It expresses your emotions and also produces endorphins (feel good hormones) in whole body.

• Dream and visualize it:

What mind focuses, that grows. So, put on paper whatever you think. Try to dream big and create a picture of your dream. Look at this paper daily. Your mind will think about it daily and thus, your dream will come true.

William King
http://www.articlesbase.com/careers-articles/how-to-deal-with-a-job-loss-a-hidden-blessing-in-disguise-320154.html

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Bob Etherington Skills for Business appears on GIBz.TV

Mike Noone — Sat, 05 Jun 2010 07:25:08 +0000

http://www.gibz.tv

Bob Etherington spends most of his time training and coaching managers and business people of all levels in the art of presentation and sales.

In this quick tip from his recent appearance on GIBz.TV (Get Into Business TV) he talks about how to overcome the fear of cold calling.

See the full show and get business advice, tips, inspiration and fun with real world business people who talk in plain English. That's GIBz.TV – http://www.gibz.tv

Duration : 31 sec