I think one of the reasons they ask is that interpersonal skills are skills we use when we interact with people, and that there are so many different ways to interact that it’s difficult to define.

My take on this is that when our interaction [...]]]>

People sometimes ask me: “Tell me, what are interpersonal skills?”

I think one of the reasons they ask is that interpersonal skills are skills we use when we interact with people, and that there are so many different ways to interact that it’s difficult to define.

My take on this is that when our interaction with others gives us the result we want, and it gives the other person the result they want, we used our interpersonal skills successfully. I always aim at a win-win in any situation I’m in.

The thing is that we all have interpersonal skills. As we grow up and learn how to communicate with others, we learn ways to communicate and deal with people that are better than other ways.

Interpersonal skills have a lot to do with communication skills. That is because when we interact with others, we always communicate. These are skills we use every day. The question now is, are you using these skills in a way that creates more harmony between you and others?

Are you using these skills so that you and the other person get the results you want? I would call interpersonal skills relationship building skills. Because when we are with other people, we relate to them. And here, the question is: how well are you relating to other people?

There’s always room to improve your interpersonal skills, your communication skills, and your relationship building skills. And the better your interpersonal skills the more successful you are in your personal and professional life.

Do you know how to create that feeling of trust and understanding that we all crave from others?

Do know how to express your own needs so that the other person doesn’t feel attacked?

Do you know how to give emotional support to someone else, and in such a way that they can solve their own problem?

Do you know how to settle differences and disagreements so that nobody feels resentful about the outcome?

Interpersonal skills include assertiveness skills, listening skills, conflict resolution skills, problem solving skills. The most important skill though, in my opinion, is creating an atmosphere of mutual trust, respect and understanding. This skill alone allows you to get the other person to cooperate with you. It allows you to get what you want in such a way that the other person doesn’t feel resentful. Because when you do it right the other person gets what they want too. A real win-win…!

Technorati Tags: Communication, communication skills, interpersonal communication skills, Interpersonal Skills, relationships

Do you have strong interpersonal skills or what some call essential people skills? These skills are considered to be soft skills within the training and development industry.

Unfortunately, interpersonal skills are not actively developed within the [...]]]>

Here is an article I came across by Leanne Hoagland-Smith on Interpersonal skills.Have a read as she has some interesting ideas.

Do you have strong interpersonal skills or what some call essential people skills? These skills are considered to be soft skills within the training and development industry.

Unfortunately, interpersonal skills are not actively developed within the K-16 educational process as much as they should be. There are 3 core competencies for individuals with truly extraordinary strong interpersonal skills.

The first competency is Goals. Having the ability for consistent goal setting and goal achievement is critical for personal, professional and organizational success. Goal setting is not actively taught within the K-16 educational system.

From my experiences, I believe that less than 5% of all adults have and use a proven goal setting system along with the necessary goal setting tools to get to where they desire to go. Having the competency of how to set and achieve goals is frankly irreplaceable.

Attitudes are the second competency within this triad of essentials for personal and organizational success. Great positive attitudes equal great positive results.

Some has said that attitudes are habit of thought. This is a simple, but revealing definition. Attitudes are the foundation for success. If you believe or think you can do something, you will do what is necessary to turn that belief or thought into reality. On the opposite side of the coin, if you believe or think you cannot do something, you will give up without even trying.

In the early 1950Â’s, the term self fulfilling prophecy was born. Attitudes are our self fulfilling prophecies. These habits of thought directly affect our self esteem and so many other parts of our personalities. Because attitudes are thoughts, you can choose them and use them to your advantage.

Finally, the third competency is Self Leadership Skills. Many strong interpersonal skills reside within this third competency. However there are some external personal skills such as time management that are also within this competency.

Self leadership skills are all about you as an individual leading yourself. How do you cope with failure or with success. How do you handle all of the challenges that you As you look towards your future, take the time to add new fuel or G.A.S. to your existing strong interpersonal skills. I believe that you will be truly amazed by the results.

Do you some simple, but honest ideas in how to improve yourself? Then you might be interested in the Three Missing Pieces for Organizational & Personal Success a combination e book and e workbook at http://www.processspecialist.com/e-books-htm This easy e book focuses on helping you with the 3 key areas of setting goals, understanding attitudes and self leadership skills.

Technorati Tags: communication skills, communication skills training, Interpersonal Skills

Have a read and then [...]]]>

I recently came across this on Dimensional Bliss and it seems to confirm what we teach on our NLP courses that the mind and body are in fact one system. it also lens weight to what is taught in Qui gong that we actually have three brains.

Have a read and then allow yourself to imagine all of the possible things that you can do with this learning

Recently, Neurophysicists have been astonished to discover that the Heart is more an organ of intelligence,

than (merely) the bodies’ main pumping station. More than half of the Heart is actually composed of neurons of the very same nature as those that make up the cerebral system. Joseph Chilton-Pearce, author of The Biology of Transcendence, calls it “the major biological apparatus within us and the seat of our greatest intelligence.”

The Heart is also the source of the body’s strongest electromagnetic field. Each heart cell is unique in that it not only pulsates in synchrony with all the other heart cells, but also produces an electromagnetic signal that radiates out beyond the cell. An EEG that measures brain waves shows that the electromagnetic signals from the heart are so much stronger than brain waves, that a reading of the heart’s frequency spectrum can be taken from three feet away from the body…without placing electrodes on it!

http://dimensionalbliss.com/2011/03/23/follow-your-heart-it-is-smarter-than-you-think/
Read more… Follow Your Heart, it is Smarter Than You Think

Have a read and then [...]]]>

I recently came across this on Dimensional Bliss and it seems to confirm what we teach on our NLP courses that the mind and body are in fact one system. it also lens weight to what is taught in Qui gong that we actually have three brains.

Have a read and then allow yourself to imagine all of the possible things that you can do with this learning

Recently, Neurophysicists have been astonished to discover that the Heart is more an organ of intelligence,

than (merely) the bodies’ main pumping station. More than half of the Heart is actually composed of neurons of the very same nature as those that make up the cerebral system. Joseph Chilton-Pearce, author of The Biology of Transcendence, calls it “the major biological apparatus within us and the seat of our greatest intelligence.”

The Heart is also the source of the body’s strongest electromagnetic field. Each heart cell is unique in that it not only pulsates in synchrony with all the other heart cells, but also produces an electromagnetic signal that radiates out beyond the cell. An EEG that measures brain waves shows that the electromagnetic signals from the heart are so much stronger than brain waves, that a reading of the heart’s frequency spectrum can be taken from three feet away from the body…without placing electrodes on it!

http://dimensionalbliss.com/2011/03/23/follow-your-heart-it-is-smarter-than-you-think/
Read more… Follow Your Heart, it is Smarter Than You Think

Have a read and then [...]]]>

I recently came across this on Dimensional Bliss and it seems to confirm what we teach on our NLP courses that the mind and body are in fact one system. it also lens weight to what is taught in Qui gong that we actually have three brains.

Have a read and then allow yourself to imagine all of the possible things that you can do with this learning

Recently, Neurophysicists have been astonished to discover that the Heart is more an organ of intelligence,

than (merely) the bodies’ main pumping station. More than half of the Heart is actually composed of neurons of the very same nature as those that make up the cerebral system. Joseph Chilton-Pearce, author of The Biology of Transcendence, calls it “the major biological apparatus within us and the seat of our greatest intelligence.”

The Heart is also the source of the body’s strongest electromagnetic field. Each heart cell is unique in that it not only pulsates in synchrony with all the other heart cells, but also produces an electromagnetic signal that radiates out beyond the cell. An EEG that measures brain waves shows that the electromagnetic signals from the heart are so much stronger than brain waves, that a reading of the heart’s frequency spectrum can be taken from three feet away from the body…without placing electrodes on it!

http://dimensionalbliss.com/2011/03/23/follow-your-heart-it-is-smarter-than-you-think/
Read more… Follow Your Heart, it is Smarter Than You Think

This quote by James Allen is just one of the numerous ways that people have [...]]]>

“All that you accomplish or fail to accomplish with your life is the direct result of your thoughts. You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.”
James Allen (1864 – 1912)

This quote by James Allen is just one of the numerous ways that people have expressed their belief that our thoughts create our lives. And you may have heard or read other quotes, basically saying the same. Even the Buddha had this to say about the power of our thoughts:

“What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind. Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts. But once mastered, no one can help you as much.” Buddha (568 – 488 BC)

As an NLP trainer, I presuppose that we are in charge of our thoughts. This means that, as the Buddha above says, we create our life by how we think. It also means that, if we’re in charge of our thoughts, we’re in charge of the results we get.

The problem, though, is: how do we change our thinking, especially if we’re so used to think negative thoughts? If you don’t believe me when I say we’re used to negative thinking, just switch on the TV or glance at the newspapers. Negativity abounds in those media.

One way that helped me to switch from negative to more positive thinking is…

…Gratitude.

Being grateful for what I have now, for example, puts me very firmly in the here and now. And what’s really interesting is, when I’m grateful I feel happy and contented. Right in the moment.

When thinking positively you feel positive and this means you do more positive things. And when you experience more positive results as a consequence, you will have more positive beliefs which will in turn again affect your thinking. And overall, your life will be so much more positive.

Recently, we laid my father-in-law to rest. And it occurred to me that life is too short to be miserable and unhappy. Your life is too precious to be fearful or worrying about things that haven’t happened yet. And we don’t really have time to complain about other people’s shortcomings.

There are various NLP skills to help you change from thinking and feeling negative
Read more… The Power Of Our Thoughts ]]> http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/the-power-of-our-thoughts-2/feed 0 http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/the-power-of-our-thoughts http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/the-power-of-our-thoughts#comments Sun, 04 Dec 2011 02:07:59 +0000 Mike Noone http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/the-power-of-our-thoughts

This quote by James Allen is just one of the numerous ways that people have [...]]]>

“All that you accomplish or fail to accomplish with your life is the direct result of your thoughts. You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.”
James Allen (1864 – 1912)

This quote by James Allen is just one of the numerous ways that people have expressed their belief that our thoughts create our lives. And you may have heard or read other quotes, basically saying the same. Even the Buddha had this to say about the power of our thoughts:

“What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind. Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts. But once mastered, no one can help you as much.” Buddha (568 – 488 BC)

As an NLP trainer, I presuppose that we are in charge of our thoughts. This means that, as the Buddha above says, we create our life by how we think. It also means that, if we’re in charge of our thoughts, we’re in charge of the results we get.

The problem, though, is: how do we change our thinking, especially if we’re so used to think negative thoughts? If you don’t believe me when I say we’re used to negative thinking, just switch on the TV or glance at the newspapers. Negativity abounds in those media.

One way that helped me to switch from negative to more positive thinking is…

…Gratitude.

Being grateful for what I have now, for example, puts me very firmly in the here and now. And what’s really interesting is, when I’m grateful I feel happy and contented. Right in the moment.

When thinking positively you feel positive and this means you do more positive things. And when you experience more positive results as a consequence, you will have more positive beliefs which will in turn again affect your thinking. And overall, your life will be so much more positive.

Recently, we laid my father-in-law to rest. And it occurred to me that life is too short to be miserable and unhappy. Your life is too precious to be fearful or worrying about things that haven’t happened yet. And we don’t really have time to complain about other people’s shortcomings.

There are various NLP skills to help you change from thinking and feeling negative
Read more… The Power Of Our Thoughts ]]> http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/the-power-of-our-thoughts/feed 0 http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/nlp-communication-skills-a-better-chance-for-employment http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/nlp-communication-skills-a-better-chance-for-employment#comments Sun, 04 Dec 2011 01:48:21 +0000 Mike Noone http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/nlp-communication-skills-a-better-chance-for-employment Very often, NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming, is called the study of excellence. It’s the study of how successful people do things. This means that you can study what [...]]]> Do you want to get a head start when looking for employment in the competitive jobs market? NLP skills may just give you the edge.

Very often, NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming, is called the study of excellence. It’s the study of how successful people do things. This means that you can study what these people did to get to where they are now. Because then you can start doing these things yourself in your endeavors for success.

One of the most important NLP skills that have been observed in successful people is communication. And communication is also one of the essential skills in the job market. This means that if you want to be more employable you’re advised to hone your NLP communication skills.

NLP doesn’t just study what you can say verbally, although this is an important part. NLP communication skills look also at what you’re saying with your body language. As you become more aware of what you’re saying with your body language, you start noticing the other person’s body language and what they’re saying.

Another important part is what you’re saying to yourself. Are these helpful things to further your employment? Or are they reflecting some limiting belief you might have about your abilities? With NLP skills you can change your internal dialog so that you’re more successful. How cool is that?

Do you want to stand out from the crowd? Do you want to influence and lead others? If you’re going for a management position, NLP communication skills can give you the necessary leadership skills. Applying NLP skills you can be confident in any situation and convey confidence in others. Because you have faith in your own abilities and in the abilities of others.

When you study how successful people achieve things, you notice that they all set goals that are realistic. Because if you don’t know where you’re going, you will end up some where. Only, is this where you want to be? On top of that, successful people don’t dream about their goal. They have a plan on how to achieve it.

Knowing what you want and knowing how to get it is a valuable skill when it comes to getting that job. Together with NLP communication skills and the leadership skills NLP can teach you, your success at job interviews is greatly increased.

And the really good thing is, that NLP skills are not skills that are new to you. Because you will have used these skills before. Learning NLP skills means that you can use them concsiously when you need them.

To your success!
Read more… NLP Communication Skills: A Better Chance For Employment ]]> http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/nlp-communication-skills-a-better-chance-for-employment/feed 0 http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/nlp-tips-and-nlp-videos-3 http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/nlp-tips-and-nlp-videos-3#comments Sat, 03 Dec 2011 17:43:18 +0000 Mike Noone http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/nlp-tips-and-nlp-videos-3 How effective are those affirmations you’ve been using ? Todays NLP tip is a question for you. It may not be explicitly asked in the video so I’ll ask [...]]]> Should you give up on hoping that soundbites will change your life ? Is there a more ecological way of creating your future ?

How effective are those affirmations you’ve been using ?
Todays NLP tip is a question for you. It may not be explicitly asked in the video so I’ll ask you here.

When will you consciously decide to change all of the unconscious conversations your having with your self that are stopping you getting the life you want ?

There.!! I’ve said it…

You really are in control of what you decide to decide.
So it’s decision time.

All the time. Every moment of every second it’s decision time.

http://nlp-courses.org/
Read more… NLP tips and NLP Videos # 3 ]]> http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/nlp-tips-and-nlp-videos-3/feed 0 http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/nlp-tips-2-the-hidden-benefits-of-not-getting-your-goals http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/nlp-tips-2-the-hidden-benefits-of-not-getting-your-goals#comments Fri, 02 Dec 2011 06:40:17 +0000 Mike Noone http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/nlp-tips-2-the-hidden-benefits-of-not-getting-your-goals In my last video I spoke about New Years resolutions and goal setting in general Now !

Today’s Tip is about hidden benefits.. Now by that I don’t mean the sort of hidden benefits that the central banks are dishing out to each other. It’s [...]]]> Welcome to NLP tips and NLP videos,

In my last video I spoke about New Years resolutions and goal setting in general
Now !

Today’s Tip is about hidden benefits..
Now by that I don’t mean the sort of hidden benefits that the central banks are dishing out to each other.
It’s more subtle than that.

Let’s jump right in and take a look

When I’m working with a team or an individual and they are not getting the results or the changes they say they want
I always ask them this question. it’s a little bit unusual…

“What are the benefits of NOT achieving this?”

It could be that

– They didn’t have to do what they say they will do

– They aren’t held accountable

– They get to moan about how terrible things are

– They get to stay in what is comfortable & familiar

-It may be that  they get a sympathetic ear from other people about their “struggle”…

These are all ‘hidden benefits’ that they would have to find other ways to get if they achieved their goal.

There are always hidden benefits

In almost any situation, there will be hidden benefits. If these benefits are uncovered, you can find other ways to satisfy them AND achieve your goals more easily.

However, if you are not aware of the hidden benefits of a situation, it can make it more of a struggle to change. So, with regard to a current goal you wish to achieve or change you wish to make…

Ask yourself “What are the benefits of NOT doing this?”
and pay attention to your answers.

You can look for other hidden benefits by asking

“What am I getting from the current situation?”

The answers you give yourself about these questions may seem a bit strange or perhaps even embarrassing, but once you’ve identified them, you can begin to find new ways to still get these hidden benefits AND achieve your goal.

Every benefit addresses a need or want

A benefit is only a benefit if it addresses a need or want, so the next step is to identify the needs or wants that the hidden benefit is supplying.

You can ask “What is the need or want that this benefit is satisfying?”

Anthony Robbins talks about six basic human needs, so if you’re having trouble identifying the need or want, check this list for inspiration. Robbins’ six are paraphrased as follows:

– Love & connection to other people

– Contribution to something bigger such as your family or community. A cause that you are passionate about

– Predictability, familiarity & security

– Unpredictability & surprise

– Growth & learning. Personal development.

– A sense of importance

One of the  presuppositions of NLP is that every behaviour has a positive intention.

Now The presuppositions of NLP are not necessarily true, but it is useful to act as if they are true in certain situations.

It can be very freeing to realise that there has been a positive intention behind something you have been perceiving as “failure” or ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’.

Once you know which needs or wants you’ve been satisfying, you can dream up many more even better ways to feel satisfied in the future.

So imagine what it will be like to ask yourself
“How can I still get these benefits while I’m achieving my goal?”
And then ask yourself that question.

The odds are that once you start to contemplate new ways of doing things, you’ll often come up with even more ways of getting those benefits than the ones you currently have.

Sometimes people will say that there is no benefit in the current situation.

NOW, If that happens, check how long things have been the way they are. If it’s more than a few weeks, then the hidden benefits should be familiar.

And…With regard to not getting your  goal…

Ask “What are the benefits of NOT achieving this?”
to identify hidden benefits of the current situation.

Ask “What is the need or want that this benefit is satisfying?”

Ask “How can I get this benefit while I’m achieving my goal?”
to identify better ways of satisfying the wants & needs.

Remember to use your imagination – there’s always another way of meeting your wants and needs.
Read more… Nlp Tips # 2-The hidden benefits of NOT Getting Your Goals ]]> http://interpersonal-skills.net/interpersonal-skills/nlp-tips-2-the-hidden-benefits-of-not-getting-your-goals/feed 0