Interpersonal communication is something most of us do on a daily basis, although we may not be aware that is what it is called.

Interpersonal communication differs from other forms of communication in various ways. It is also very important in development.

The following list outlines what interpersonal communication is and what some of the characterizes [...]]]>

Interpersonal communication is something most of us do on a daily basis, although we may not be aware that is what it is called.

Interpersonal communication differs from other forms of communication in various ways. It is also very important in development.

The following list outlines what interpersonal communication is and what some of the characterizes are. It also explains why we need it.

1. What is it?

Interpersonal communication involves a close group of participants. It is basically the everyday conversations you carry on and it includes speeches, general friendly exchanges, arguments and basically anytime you speak to someone.

2. How is it different than other forms of communication?

Interpersonal communication involves face to face encounters. You are talking in person not over a computer, phone or through written information. You can get immediate responses.

You are also able to benefit from body language. You hear a voice where you can pick up on different dialects and speech patterns.

3. How does interpersonal communication vary?

The variances in interpersonal communication involve the people and situations. You communicate differently with someone you know well verses a stranger. You will have different topics of conversation when talking to your preacher or your best friend.

These variations make interpersonal communication flexibility important for difference circumstances.

4. How do we use interpersonal communication?

We use interpersonal communication for a variety of reasons. You use it to learn new information, such as when asking questions. You use it to share information, such as when telling a story. You use it to define yourself, such as when giving a speech.

You also use it to fulfill the natural need for contact with other people. Interpersonal communication is how we develop from infant to adult. We learn about different cultures and languages through interpersonal communication as well. It gives you a human element, a real nature that other forms of communication can not provide.

5. Why is interpersonal communication important?

Interpersonal communication is important because you need it to develop throughout the stages of life. You get so much from interpersonal communication.

You learn, teach and get an identity through interpersonal communication. You also share with others who you are. You need interpersonal communication to learn how to pronounce words correctly, how to speak properly in certain situations and how to communicate in general.

Interpersonal communication has taken a back seat to other forms of communication in recent years. More people than ever are using the internet to exchange information and make contact with others.

We must also be sure to keep interpersonal communication in our lives. Without it babies will never learn to talk properly and we can never expand our language abilities through learning form others speech. The spoken word should never have its importance underestimated.

Peter Murphy
http://www.articlesbase.com/advice-articles/interpersonal-communication-secrets-that-work-every-time-10453.html

Technorati Tags: interpersonal communication, interpersonal conflict, Interpersonal Skills

Interpersonal Communications

Very few of us never have contact with the outside world or other people, and as a result, there is a relationship that is created whenever we interact with someone else. As time goes on, that relationship can remain stagnant, or as in the case of a love or dating relationship, that relationship [...]]]>

Interpersonal Communications

Very few of us never have contact with the outside world or other people, and as a result, there is a relationship that is created whenever we interact with someone else. As time goes on, that relationship can remain stagnant, or as in the case of a love or dating relationship, that relationship can grow and flourish. But the real key to any meaningful relationship is effective interpersonal communications between two people. That statement is every bit as true for interpersonal relationships as it is for business relationships, and also for the marital relationship between a husband and wife.

Effective interpersonal communications cannot be stressed enough, especially in a marriage relationship. In today’s world where both husband and wife are holding down at least full time if not part time jobs, things happen during the course of a normal day. But it is only at the end of the day when two people are relaxing that effective communications can take place. It doesn’t matter how mundane, since even in mundane conversation you can learn a lot about another person, understanding what is important to them, what irritates them, and things they find enjoyable.

Suppose your partner is depressed about something, whether financial stress, job pressures, or anything else. How much time do you give to your partner to improve the mood? If your answer is “none or not much”, you are running the risk of your relationship starting to deteriorate. The breakdown of a relationship does not happen overnight, but it is all these “missed opportunities” to show care, understanding, and support that all add up over time.

Respect is a key ingredient of any relationship. If you do not feel you can trust someone, your communications with them will be brief or nonexistent. There is no real relationship there. That type of relationship may be fine for the checkout clerk at the grocery store, but how many people have that kind of relationship with their spouse? The real answer to that question will probably scare you, but you have control over that and the fate of that relationship, even your marital relationship, rests squarely in your hands.

Trust is another key element of any relationship, which goes hand in hand with respect. You need to feel you can trust the person you are communicating with. If you don’t have a level of trust with that person, even your spouse, then your communications will reflect that lack of trust. You won’t elaborate on things you say, you won’t go into details, and you will subconsciously leave out information that may leave you vulnerable to a future rebuttal or even attack from the other person.

Many times, especially in a marriage relationship, the three key elements of a relationship (communication, trust and respect) slowly start to erode over time. It is typically not a conscious thing, but it can happen if both spouses are not aware that they need to keep all levels of these elements at peak values consistently. So what happens as these components start to degrade? That relationship can develop into an abusive relationship. This is particularly difficult in a marriage relationship – when the checkout clerk at the grocery store abuses you, you can report them to their management or you can just decide to shop somewhere else. But in a marriage relationship, it is not nearly as clear-cut at that, nor nearly as simple. The marriage equivalent of “shopping somewhere else” is divorce, which although being a very drastic step, is sometimes the best solution for both parties when the respect, the trust, and the interpersonal communications have degraded to the point where both parties are unwilling to put in enough time and effort that will be required to rebuild those elements.

Take care of your relationships and understand how you can improve them on a regular basis, and those relationships can grow and flourish over time, where you can gain comfort during the dark times and share your joys in the good times.

Jon Arnold
http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/how-to-improve-your-interpersonal-relationships-94793.html

Technorati Tags: interpersonal communication, interpersonal communications, interpersonal conflict, Interpersonal Skills

Our communication with others usually starts with our thoughts, resulting in words, tonality and body language. There are many ways to define “thoughts”, and one of them is how we use our senses internally.

We use our senses [...]]]>

Here is an article on ways that you can enhance your interpersonal communication skills by By Joel Seah.

Our communication with others usually starts with our thoughts, resulting in words, tonality and body language. There are many ways to define “thoughts”, and one of them is how we use our senses internally.

We use our senses outwardly to perceive the world, and inwardly to represent experience to ourselves. When recalling experiences, such as a time you went to the beach, what appears in your mind first? Maybe a picture of the beach would appear. Perhaps you hear the sounds of the waves and children playing, or the feeling of how relaxed you were just sitting by the sea.

When you ask a group of students to describe their form teacher, you could get a variety of answers. One student might recall the hairstyle and dressing first, followed by the teacher’s voice, and how he or she feels about the teacher’s lessons. Another might first recall that the teacher has a very deep and powerful voice, followed by how the teacher always makes the class feel interesting, and lastly, how the teacher looks.

This method of taking in and storing information in our minds, through our five senses (Seeing, hearing, feeling, taste and smell) is known as Representational Systems in Neuro Linguistic Programming. Having different preferred representational systems is also one reason why we encounter difficulties in getting our messages across to others sometimes.

If you are a visual person whose dominant sense is seeing, you will likely speak in a manner that include many pictures and visual words. A kinesthetic person on the other hand, will speak with many feeling words. Also, they will find it easier to relate to feeling words as compared to visual words.

A point to remember is that representational systems are not mutually exclusive. It is possible to recall a scene, and include the sounds and feelings simultaneously, though it is quite rare for all to be used together all the time. Most of us tend to have one or two representation systems that we prefer when thinking.

Also, it is possible to develop and improve. For example, a person who is mostly visual might have difficulty learning music initially. However, with practice, they can also develop the audio aspect of their representational systems.

So to conclude, if you want to build rapport with others and get them to understand you easily, take responsibility for the way you communicate and use words that are suitable for their preferred representational systems.

By Joel Seah

Of course there is so much more to having great interpersonal communication skills and if you use what Joel has told you in this article you’ll be well on your way …

Technorati Tags: communication skills, communication skills training, interpersonal communication skills

The reality is that being perceived as an expert communicator [...]]]>

What do you want when you communicate with somebody ?

The reality is that being perceived as an expert communicator should  NOT be your number 1 priority.

Realise that what you are looking for is  to have control of the response. Your response…

Your first priority when communicating is to be sure that what you are  saying has been understood. Until that happens everything else is completely irrelevant, simply  because you are not communicating.

The message is not getting through.

You also have a responsibility to understand what is being said to you. Without both of these  components you are still not communicating.

You are talking AT each other.

You are probably thinking well yes this is all very well but doesn’t the other person also have the same responsibilities to understand me. I mean hey, my view is important here too.

The answer is yes…and no

There are two parties to any communication and because you are here and reading this I assume that you want to improve the type of communication you’re having with other people. I assume that you want to improve the quality of your communication which may mean that you get better responses to your questions or deeper levels of truth or emotions.

Either way, whatever you want out of your communication It is your responsibility to ensure that you get the responses that you need.

If you want more truthfulness…

If you want to be respected more …

If you want to have more influence or more friends..

or

Any other type of response you can think of.

Remember…Only you are in charge of your brain.

And if you don’t think that you’re in charge of it, then who is and who decided you would let them control your thinking ? Think about that…Because if you can consider who is actually in charge of your thinking it means that you really are the one who is in charge of your thoughts.

Right !

That means that you  not only have the power to take control of what you think. You also get to decide what you say  and how you say it.

Your brain receives a massive amount of information from your ears and eyes and then it decides what that information means. Your mind decides what the messages that you get from the outside world mean and then it tells you about that message. It tells you by encoding that information as a belief. Another aspect that makes up your beliefs are your values.

Values are  powerful beliefs that you use to measure yourself against in terms of your results and also your actions. Another word for your values is your conscience. What you believe to be right and good.

So let’s imagine that you have had a message from your boss or your partner. The message says that they are not very happy about something you have done.

That message could be interpreted that you are a victim of circumstance and powerless to change your life for the better… That your boss dominates your life and change is beyond your control…Your partner is the one that makes the decisions for you and so they must be right.

The same information could also be interpreted that while your life is not exactly what you want, at the moment,  you have got lots of really big incentives to change it and “By golly you’re not going to let anything or anyone stop you from getting it…”

The thing you can understand here is that YOU are the one who decides what the information you receive means. And you are the one who decides what you will do with that meaning.

Here’s a little test for your beliefs and what they mean to you… 

I am assuming that you have a goal that you will get as a result of having better communication skills. Yes ?

Do your current beliefs and the meaning you have attached to them, get you closer to your goals or do they move you further away from them ? And if they are not supporting you in getting your goals is there something else you could believe that would be more useful ?

You have the power to make a choice. You can stick with what has not worked so far…You can keep on doing those things that frustrate you and upset you…

Or you can decide right now that as you realise you are reading this and as you become aware that you are understanding these words… you can change what you believe about anything  you want to.

Your whole life is just made up of thoughts. thoughts that come into and flow through your mind. And you get to decide whether you believe them or not and what you want to do about that.

And even when the thoughts  say you have no control…You can still ask them this question…

Says who, specifically ?

and just be aware of the answers that come to you.

 Relationship communication can be tricky. It is a curious way to start an article but consider this. Relationships involve people. That’s a statement of the obvious I know and sometimes things that are obvious are completely missed.

You are a unique human being. The people that you are in relationships [...]]]>

 Relationship communication can be tricky. It is a curious way to start an article but consider this. Relationships involve people. That’s a statement of the obvious I know and sometimes things that are obvious are completely missed.

You are a unique human being. The people that you are in relationships with are also human beings and also unique. Every one of you has been brought up in a unique environment known as a family that is composed of other unique individuals.

 We come into this world in a manner that is somewhat random. By random, I mean we have little choice about the human beings who will be guiding us towards becoming adults. We do not know what beliefs they may have and we do not know if those beliefs and the resulting actions, will be effective in dealing with the world out there. Worse still, we have no idea whatsoever about how well what we are being taught will enable us to cope with other human beings.

 Given the apparent randomness of human up bringing, it is a miracle that we are not rushing to push “the button” every 5 min. So what’s is it that binds us together as a species? What is it that brings you together with another person in a relationship?

 A lot depends on what you focus on. It is rumoured that leaving the top off of the toothpaste tube is one of the leading causes of divorce. This is of course complete fabrication. The leading cause of problems in relationship communication is bad focus.

 Good communication comes from focusing on the things that work for both of you and for the relationship. By switching your focus from the top on the toothpaste tube, to appreciative remarks, and by focusing on the good things, your perspective changes.

 You entered into a relationship with some common goals and some common benefits you were seeking. Pause and consider them for a moment.

 When you enter into a relationship with someone, by which I mean a positive and cooperative relationship, you probably did so because you and the other person had congruent values. You both decided that what was important to the other person was also important to you. You shared beliefs about what is right and good. Values are the clearing in the middle of forest where we can all come together and meet.Shared values are that place in a relationship which does not have any conflict. Values are the safe space where you feel secure about being yourself.

Because those shared values create a safe space for you, you can be yourself and you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Discovering the shared values you have with another human being is one of the quickest way to build trust, rapport and understanding. Without trust, rapport and understanding you will not experience the relationship you really want.

 To improve your relationships communication, I would recommend what you do is to simply ask a question. The question is “What is most important to you?”

You can also ask if the other person has those qualities in their life and if the answer is no, I’m going to suggest you offer to help them achieve that.

 Relationship communication is about creating cooperation. Cooperation can only come from understanding and understanding can only come from appropriate questioning, respect and trust.

They can all be summed up [...]]]>

Interpersonal communication skills are what you use when you want others to like you and to trust you. Because, as a human being you are wired to be sociable, interpersonal skills are very useful. So, what are the most useful interpersonal skills that you can develop?

They can all be summed up underneath the umbrella term of rapport.

Rapport is very simple and straightforward on the face of it. It is however, made up of lots of small actions that go to create the overall skill.

A good analogy would be learning to walk when you are small. You first have to learn how to stand up without your legs buckling underneath you. This happens because your muscles are not yet strong enough or well enough developed. You then must learn to balance on those legs without the need to support yourself. And then you have to learn how to move one of them forward, maintain your balance and then move the other. When you’ve been doing it for years it’s easy and because you are so small when you learned how to do it, you’ve forgotten how difficult it was.

 So, back to interpersonal communication skills and rapport.

Remember, your mind and your body are one system. Because roughly 90% of all communication and therefore relationship building is non-verbal, your body language is very important. I am not talking about anything sophisticated or slick here, just simple mirroring and matching. This is where you imitate the body position of the person you are with. It should not be confused with mimicking which is where you are taking the Mickey out of the other person.

To learn how to mirror someone best, get out there and look at people, in a restaurant or cafe perhaps, who are getting on really well. You will notice that they will be almost like twins or two peas in a pod. What do I mean by that.

 What I mean is that when one lifts their left hand slightly the other will follow suit and move their hand as well. This is an unconscious response. When one laughs or smiles, the other will probably do the same. They will be talking at a similar volume and at a similar speed using a similar tone.

The reason this occurs is because of something known as mirror neurons which were first discovered at the University of Palma, in Sicily, in 1991. The neurons were discovered in the brains of monkeys and later were found in the brains of every other primate, including humans. When a monkey makes a gesture  another monkey will make a similar gesture. This is probably the origin of the saying “Monkey see, monkey do”. Human beings are no different. We are primates too and we have these very neurons in an area of the brain called Broccas area. 

The reason that mirror neurons and mirroring are important is because they allow us to recognise other entities or beings who are similar to us.  Entities or beings that are similar to us do not generally present a life threatening danger. That is why I would recommend you not practice mirroring and matching tigers or wild hyenas. Their brains are wired differently. They will probably eat you. A graphic illustration and hopefully a useful one.

So, now you’ve spent some time observing other people and seeing how mirroring and matching occur, you may have noticed something. Not only are their gestures and their actions, the language they use, the tone and volume similar. There are other things too. If you observe closely you will see that their eyes are at roughly the same level. You will notice that their body gestures and their body position is virtually identical. It is as if one is looking in the mirror at the other. Hence the name mirroring.

So far, we have only looked at the physical side of creating rapport. Mirroring, body position, volume and tonality of speech but there is more.

Beyond the physical there is the psychological. The psychological aspect of rapport relates to you being interested in the other person and them being aware of that. By being aware that you are interested in them this will allow them to feel confident and likeable. This in turn begins to lead towards emotional rapport. Because we are social animals we need to feel liked and loved.

If you go back to the savannas of Africa thousands, or hundreds of thousands of years ago, to not be liked or Loved meant you were out there on your own. It was you against predators. The predators had teeth and claws. They were hungry and you were on their menu.

You had a stick, if you’re lucky.

 Hopefully you’re beginning to see that there are deep and significant sociological and physical reasons why we behave the way that we do today. We learned millennia ago that together we are stronger. We discovered that being liked and loved, not only feels good. It also meant we got fed and usually, lived to see the next sunrise.

All of the foregoing can be translated into a modern equivalent. Your interpersonal skills will determine how well you are loved, how well you are liked. How well you eat and live and whether or not you will in fact live to see tomorrow’s sunrise. There is nothing new under the sun and no surprises. I would strongly encourage you to learn, practice and home your interpersonal communication skills. One day they may, just may, save your life.

And even if they don’t save your life, they will definitely help you to enjoy it a lot more. 

Duration : 10 min 7 sec

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