What Are Interpersonal Skills

People sometimes ask me: “Tell me, what are interpersonal skills?”

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I think one of the reasons they ask is that interpersonal skills are skills we use when we interact with people, and that there are so many different ways to interact that it’s difficult to define.

My take on this is that when our interaction with others gives us the result we want, and it gives the other person the result they want, we used our interpersonal skills successfully. I always aim at a win-win in any situation I’m in.

The thing is that we all have interpersonal skills. As we grow up and learn how to communicate with others, we learn ways to communicate and deal with people that are better than other ways.

Interpersonal skills have a lot to do with communication skills. That is because when we interact with others, we always communicate. These are skills we use every day. The question now is, are you using these skills in a way that creates more harmony between you and others?

Are you using these skills so that you and the other person get the results you want? I would call interpersonal skills relationship building skills. Because when we are with other people, we relate to them. And here, the question is: how well are you relating to other people?

There’s always room to improve your interpersonal skills, your communication skills, and your relationship building skills. And the better your interpersonal skills the more successful you are in your personal and professional life.

Do you know how to create that feeling of trust and understanding that we all crave from others?

Do know how to express your own needs so that the other person doesn’t feel attacked?

Do you know how to give emotional support to someone else, and in such a way that they can solve their own problem?

Do you know how to settle differences and disagreements so that nobody feels resentful about the outcome?

Interpersonal skills include assertiveness skills, listening skills, conflict resolution skills, problem solving skills. The most important skill though, in my opinion, is creating an atmosphere of mutual trust, respect and understanding. This skill alone allows you to get the other person to cooperate with you. It allows you to get what you want in such a way that the other person doesn’t feel resentful. Because when you do it right the other person gets what they want too. A real win-win…!

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 What Are Interpersonal Skills

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Announcement: Interpersonal Communication Secrets that Work Every Time


Interpersonal communication is something most of us do on a daily basis, although we may not be aware that is what it is called.

Interpersonal communication differs from other forms of communication in various ways. It is also very important in development.

The following list outlines what interpersonal communication is and what some of the characterizes are. It also explains why we need it.

1. What is it?

Interpersonal communication involves a close group of participants. It is basically the everyday conversations you carry on and it includes speeches, general friendly exchanges, arguments and basically anytime you speak to someone.

2. How is it different than other forms of communication?

Interpersonal communication involves face to face encounters. You are talking in person not over a computer, phone or through written information. You can get immediate responses.

You are also able to benefit from body language. You hear a voice where you can pick up on different dialects and speech patterns.

3. How does interpersonal communication vary?

The variances in interpersonal communication involve the people and situations. You communicate differently with someone you know well verses a stranger. You will have different topics of conversation when talking to your preacher or your best friend.

These variations make interpersonal communication flexibility important for difference circumstances.

4. How do we use interpersonal communication?

We use interpersonal communication for a variety of reasons. You use it to learn new information, such as when asking questions. You use it to share information, such as when telling a story. You use it to define yourself, such as when giving a speech.

You also use it to fulfill the natural need for contact with other people. Interpersonal communication is how we develop from infant to adult. We learn about different cultures and languages through interpersonal communication as well. It gives you a human element, a real nature that other forms of communication can not provide.

5. Why is interpersonal communication important?

Interpersonal communication is important because you need it to develop throughout the stages of life. You get so much from interpersonal communication.

You learn, teach and get an identity through interpersonal communication. You also share with others who you are. You need interpersonal communication to learn how to pronounce words correctly, how to speak properly in certain situations and how to communicate in general.

Interpersonal communication has taken a back seat to other forms of communication in recent years. More people than ever are using the internet to exchange information and make contact with others.

We must also be sure to keep interpersonal communication in our lives. Without it babies will never learn to talk properly and we can never expand our language abilities through learning form others speech. The spoken word should never have its importance underestimated.

Peter Murphy


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Announcement: How to Improve your Interpersonal Communications


Interpersonal Communications

Very few of us never have contact with the outside world or other people, and as a result, there is a relationship that is created whenever we interact with someone else. As time goes on, that relationship can remain stagnant, or as in the case of a love or dating relationship, that relationship can grow and flourish. But the real key to any meaningful relationship is effective interpersonal communications between two people. That statement is every bit as true for interpersonal relationships as it is for business relationships, and also for the marital relationship between a husband and wife.

Effective interpersonal communications cannot be stressed enough, especially in a marriage relationship. In today’s world where both husband and wife are holding down at least full time if not part time jobs, things happen during the course of a normal day. But it is only at the end of the day when two people are relaxing that effective communications can take place. It doesn’t matter how mundane, since even in mundane conversation you can learn a lot about another person, understanding what is important to them, what irritates them, and things they find enjoyable.

Suppose your partner is depressed about something, whether financial stress, job pressures, or anything else. How much time do you give to your partner to improve the mood? If your answer is “none or not much”, you are running the risk of your relationship starting to deteriorate. The breakdown of a relationship does not happen overnight, but it is all these “missed opportunities” to show care, understanding, and support that all add up over time.

Respect is a key ingredient of any relationship. If you do not feel you can trust someone, your communications with them will be brief or nonexistent. There is no real relationship there. That type of relationship may be fine for the checkout clerk at the grocery store, but how many people have that kind of relationship with their spouse? The real answer to that question will probably scare you, but you have control over that and the fate of that relationship, even your marital relationship, rests squarely in your hands.

Trust is another key element of any relationship, which goes hand in hand with respect. You need to feel you can trust the person you are communicating with. If you don’t have a level of trust with that person, even your spouse, then your communications will reflect that lack of trust. You won’t elaborate on things you say, you won’t go into details, and you will subconsciously leave out information that may leave you vulnerable to a future rebuttal or even attack from the other person.

Many times, especially in a marriage relationship, the three key elements of a relationship (communication, trust and respect) slowly start to erode over time. It is typically not a conscious thing, but it can happen if both spouses are not aware that they need to keep all levels of these elements at peak values consistently. So what happens as these components start to degrade? That relationship can develop into an abusive relationship. This is particularly difficult in a marriage relationship – when the checkout clerk at the grocery store abuses you, you can report them to their management or you can just decide to shop somewhere else. But in a marriage relationship, it is not nearly as clear-cut at that, nor nearly as simple. The marriage equivalent of “shopping somewhere else” is divorce, which although being a very drastic step, is sometimes the best solution for both parties when the respect, the trust, and the interpersonal communications have degraded to the point where both parties are unwilling to put in enough time and effort that will be required to rebuild those elements.

Take care of your relationships and understand how you can improve them on a regular basis, and those relationships can grow and flourish over time, where you can gain comfort during the dark times and share your joys in the good times.

Jon Arnold


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